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Shel Silverstein - Diet Song

Shel Silverstein - Diet Song

Well breakfast black coffee one slice of dry toast no butter no jelly no jam -- Lunch just some lettuce two celery stalks no booze no potatoes no ham -- Dinner one chicken wing broiled not fried no gravy no biscuits no pie -- And this dietin' dietin' dietin' dietin' sure is a rough way to die -- -- So pass me a carrot stick peel me a prune a glass of skim milk and that's all -- Turn off the TV for the Big Mac commercial it's drivin' me straight up the wall -- And I'm think' of french fries sausage and waffles spaghetti and cookies and cake -- And each night I'm dreamin' of chocolate ice cream and -- I'm starvin' to death when I wake all for your sake -- [more]

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Shel Silverstein - Daylight Dreamer

Shel Silverstein - Daylight Dreamer

Here's the half-finished painting of a girl that I started last December -- Here's the first three pages of my novel bout I don't really remember -- Here's my Martin guitar that I never quite learned how to play -- That's the daylight dreamer wishful thinker's way -- -- I had a Harley bike but I traded it off to a feller -- For the Astroglass boat that's still sittin down in my cellar -- I bought a tape recorder and found I had nothin' to say -- That's the daylight dreamer wishful thinker's way -- -- [more]

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Shel Silverstein - Drain My Brain

Shel Silverstein - Drain My Brain

Unwind my mind oh baby drain my brain -- Unscrew my head take a part of my heart -- Scrape away the pain and start all over again -- -- I tell you baby I don't understand just how you can make love to me -- While you're lookin' at the picture of another man -- You got me talkin' to my elbow climbin' up the wall -- First you tell me you despise me then you say you idolize me -- Then you tell me you can't use me at all -- Unwind my mind... -- [more]

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Shel Silverstein - I'm So Good That I Don't Have To Brag

Shel Silverstein - I'm So Good That I Don't Have To Brag

Now I'm warnin' all you women don't stand too close to me cause you might catch fire -- Now you're talkin' to a man in a whole other kind of bag -- Well I'm three parts tiger and one part snake -- I'll ball you to sleep and I'll bite you awake -- And I'm so good that I don't have to brag -- I need an adding machine to count up all the women I've ruined for other men -- Now compared to me Paul Bunyan is a screamin' fag -- I can shift more gears and pump more juice I'll turn you every which way but loose -- And I'm so damn good that I don't have to brag -- Now there's twenty thirty beautiful women a sleepin' at the foot of my bed -- [more]

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Shel Silverstein - Masochistic Baby

Shel Silverstein - Masochistic Baby

Oh ever since my masocistic baby went and left me (she had left you a kiss) -- I got nothin' nothin' to hit but the wall (poor wall) -- She loved me when I beat her (oh they do love that) -- But then I started actin' sweeter (oh mistake) -- Oh and that ain't no way to treat her at all -- -- She is the one that I'm dreaming of and you always hurt the one you love -- Nothin' to hit but the wall what you know -- Nothin' to belt but my pans yes I've suspendors -- Nothin' to whip but the scream you get so nasty -- [more]

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Shel Silverstein - Mermaid

Shel Silverstein - Mermaid

Hey when I was a lad in fishing town an old man said to me -- You can spend your life your jolly life just sailing on the sea -- Now you can search the world for pretty girls till your eyes are weak and dim -- But don't go swimming with the mermaid son if you don't know how to swim -- If you don't know how to swim -- For her hair is green as seaweed and her skin is blue and pale -- And I tell you now before you start you can love that girl with all your heart -- But you're just gonna love the upper part you're not gonna like the tail -- -- So I signed onto a whaling ship and my very first day at sea -- [more]

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Shel Silverstein - Paranoid

Shel Silverstein - Paranoid

Everybody says I'm paranoid they all think I'm crazy -- They all smile to my face but they'd like to see me die -- They put poison in my coffee they put ground glass in my oatmeal -- They put spiders in my tennis shoes and shit in my pecan pie -- It's hard to stop and figure out where did it all begin -- You see my father wanted a little girl and my mother wanted twins -- And my grandpa admired Hitler so everything I did was wrong -- And I'm gonna stop now cause even though you're smilin' I -- Yeah and I know you're only listenin' cause you don't wanna hurt my feelin's -- And you're just waitin' for me to leave so you can laugh about my open fly -- [more]

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Shel Silverstein - Modern Talk

Shel Silverstein - Modern Talk

(There was a time when people talked said with their mouth -- How they talk and it doesn't mean a thing it's called the modern talk)
-- Now picture the scene the day is sunny -- A man meets a friend and asks him for some money -- He says I need five to keep me alive -- And the friend gives him this kinda jive -- He says zaa za voo za za voo I can't make it -- Vome zoo za vome a viddle o till then -- And he's right back out on the street again -- -- [more]

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Shel Silverstein - Peanut Butter Sandwich

Shel Silverstein - Peanut Butter Sandwich

(I'll tell you a story of silly young king -- Who played with the world at the end of a string -- But he only loved one single thing and that was just a peanut butter sandwich) -- -- Now his scepter wand his royal gowns his regal throne and golden crowns -- Were brown and sticky from the mounds -- And drippings from each peanut butter sandwich -- His subjects all were silly fools cuz he had passed a royal rule -- -- That all that they could learn in school was how to make a peanut butter sandwich -- [more]

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Shel Silverstein - Thumbsucker

Shel Silverstein - Thumbsucker

Yeah yeah now this song is a warning yes folks a warnin' against the danger -- A very very economy a social fibre mortal turpitude haha national security -- And friends the danger is not it is not the long hairs -- And it is not the warmongers all the squares all the truckusers all the fuss -- Friends the danger the real danger is thumbsuckers -- Yes you heard me my friends I think thumbsucker -- And every time every time you make a peace sign with your fingers -- And every time you're on highway stick your thumb -- There's always there in the shadows some dirty sneaky thumbsucker -- Who will leap out upon you grab your wrist -- [more]

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