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Shel Silverstein - Diet Song

Shel Silverstein - Diet Song

Well breakfast black coffee one slice of dry toast no butter no jelly no jam -- Lunch just some lettuce two celery stalks no booze no potatoes no ham -- Dinner one chicken wing broiled not fried no gravy no biscuits no pie -- And this dietin' dietin' dietin' dietin' sure is a rough way to die -- -- So pass me a carrot stick peel me a prune a glass of skim milk and that's all -- Turn off the TV for the Big Mac commercial it's drivin' me straight up the wall -- And I'm think' of french fries sausage and waffles spaghetti and cookies and cake -- And each night I'm dreamin' of chocolate ice cream and -- I'm starvin' to death when I wake all for your sake -- [more]

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Shel Silverstein - Dirty Ol' Me

Shel Silverstein - Dirty Ol' Me

Well I was sittin' up in my crane leftin' boulders in the rain -- Can't get promoted no matter what I do -- Ah when the forman he comes around and he yells up from the ground -- He says hold that load up there for a minute or two -- Cause I got to check some gear down here below -- So whatever you do with them rocks just don't let go -- Just don't let go just don't let go -- Sittin' by his desk drinkin' coffee it seems that he got hit by a rock or three -- They're puttin' my name on the door where his name was before -- Oh dirty ol' me say dirty ol' me -- [more]

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Shel Silverstein - I Can't Touch The Sun

Shel Silverstein - I Can't Touch The Sun

No I can't touch the clouds for you I've never reached the sun for you -- I've never done the things that you need done for you -- I've stretched as high as I can reach I guess I'm not the one for you -- Cause I can't touch the clouds or reach the sun for you -- No I can't reach the clouds or touch the sun -- -- No I can't turn back time for you and make you sweet sixteen again -- I can't turn your barren fields to green again -- And I can't sit around and talk of how might have been again -- No I can't turn back time and make you young again -- [more]

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Shel Silverstein - I'm So Good That I Don't Have To Brag

Shel Silverstein - I'm So Good That I Don't Have To Brag

Now I'm warnin' all you women don't stand too close to me cause you might catch fire -- Now you're talkin' to a man in a whole other kind of bag -- Well I'm three parts tiger and one part snake -- I'll ball you to sleep and I'll bite you awake -- And I'm so good that I don't have to brag -- I need an adding machine to count up all the women I've ruined for other men -- Now compared to me Paul Bunyan is a screamin' fag -- I can shift more gears and pump more juice I'll turn you every which way but loose -- And I'm so damn good that I don't have to brag -- Now there's twenty thirty beautiful women a sleepin' at the foot of my bed -- [more]

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Shel Silverstein - Mermaid

Shel Silverstein - Mermaid

Hey when I was a lad in fishing town an old man said to me -- You can spend your life your jolly life just sailing on the sea -- Now you can search the world for pretty girls till your eyes are weak and dim -- But don't go swimming with the mermaid son if you don't know how to swim -- If you don't know how to swim -- For her hair is green as seaweed and her skin is blue and pale -- And I tell you now before you start you can love that girl with all your heart -- But you're just gonna love the upper part you're not gonna like the tail -- -- So I signed onto a whaling ship and my very first day at sea -- [more]

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Shel Silverstein - Rings Of Grass

Shel Silverstein - Rings Of Grass

Rings of grass crowns of flowers they're gone gone gone gone -- Furs that I woven of whispering hours gone gone gone gone -- She's gone away where the rings are real -- And the furs have warmth that a woman can feel -- Round and round round goes the wheel -- And she's gone gone gone gone gone -- -- Rings of grass and crowns of flowers gone gone gone gone -- -- Castles of sand with seashell towers gone gone gone gone -- [more]

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Shel Silverstein - Smoke Off

Shel Silverstein - Smoke Off

In the laid back California town of sunny San Raphael -- Lived a girl named Pearly Sweetcake you probly knew her well -- Shed been stoned fifteen of her eighteen years and the story was widely told -- That she could smoke 'em faster than anyone could roll -- Her legend finally reached New York that Grove Street walk-up flat -- Where dwelt The Calistoga Kid a beatnik from the past -- With long browned lightnin fingers he takes a cultured toke -- And says Hell I can roll -- -- -- [more]

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Shel Silverstein - She's My Ever Lovin' Machine

Shel Silverstein - She's My Ever Lovin' Machine

Hey boys you know once I was took in by a girl with a twinkly eye -- And the first time that I wasn't lookin' she run off with a handsomer guy oh my -- But I'm an ingenious feller yeah as soon as my brain got uncurled -- I tiptoed right down to my cellar and I built a mechanical girl -- Oh her arms are iron her legs are steel her hips are on wires attached to a wheel -- And her spine is a coil that I now and then oil she's my ever-lovin' machine -- -- She has no trouble making her mind up for I did not give her a mind -- And her heart is a clock that I wind up so I know that she'll love me in time -- Oh she never complains when I stay out all night she never complains I'm not rich -- [more]

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Shel Silverstein - Stacy Brown Got Two

Shel Silverstein - Stacy Brown Got Two

Did you hear bout Stacy brown (no we didn't but we'd like to) -- He had every chick in town (no he didn't but he tried to) -- He had looks he had class do anything to get a little lass -- And everyone would shout at him when he walks his girlies past -- They said everybody got one (everybody got one) -- Everybody got one (everybody got one) Stacy brown got two (oooh) -- -- Do you know the reason for his success (no we don't so tell -- They say that he was double blessed (not like you fellas) -- They say that Stacy Brown was born just a little bit deformed -- [more]

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Shel Silverstein - Ugliest Man In Town

Shel Silverstein - Ugliest Man In Town

Handsome guys get girls that are pretty -- Other guys make it cause they're clever and witty -- But the only love I ever got I got out of pity cause I'm the ugliest man in town -- Yeah I drive down the street in a Roys Rolls car -- Use hundred dollar bills when I light my cigar -- But you know folks that really don't get you very far -- When you're the ugliest man in town -- There was a note on the doorstep where I was found -- Is said this poor child weighs eleven pounds -- So bring him up healthy and welthy and sound -- [more]

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